Who Am I? Part 2 Jonathan – Blogging to Bless

As a teenager and young adult, I found most of my emotions, actions, and thoughts wrapped around the topic of finding true love. Like so many girls, I sacrificed standards and morals to find “the one.” I remember feeling like searching for a good, Christian man was setting the bar too high and would only lead to disappointment. (I am sure a lot of my reservations in this area was an unwillingness to expose my lack of understanding of my own faith.) So often I dated troubled men thinking that if I could offer them a life of change they would be forever indebted to me with their love. And yet my relationships were always missing that growth that only a Christian relationship can experience- the bonding of your love for Jesus and His work in you as an individual and as a couple.

As I went through these relationships, my Christian walk suffered. There were many attempts to witness, but they were rejected. The feelings of love that I had allowed myself to feel for these men left me feeling empty. I knew that there was something greater I was longing for, that God was calling me to.

Jonathan was a not a Christian when we met. We were both heading into our senior year of high school and we were instantly connected and attracted to each other. We dated long-distance for four months. When the relationship ended as quickly as it began, I was heartbroken and confused as I had been so many times before.

After some time passed, Jonathan and I came back into contact with each other. The whole time we were platonic friends for four years, I was secretly in love with him. Meanwhile I remained single for that length of time and I found my Christian faith to be growing through Bible study attendance and church. When I finally confessed my feelings to Jon, we started dating again and although I was finally with the person I had been loving for four years, I knew God was calling me to something far greater.

One night Jonathan came to a Bible study with me. Throughout the whole study I was feeling compelled to end my relationship with him. It was heartbreaking because I knew that Jonathan was in love with me and I felt like I had been unfair to him by enticing him into a relationship with me, all the while knowing that God wanted me to be with a Christian. After the study, Jonathan and I took a long drive and we started to talk about God. Jonathan stated that he was a Christian, after I had told him he was not. He said, “I believe in God!” I responded, “Yes, but do you believe in Jesus?” He said, “I can’t believe in someone I don’t know.” That night I shared with Jonathan who Christ was and what He intends for us and that night- the night I thought I would be breaking up with Jonathan to find the Christian man God intended for me- Jonathan became a Christian.

I realized that God was asking me to give up what I loved (and had been loving more than Him) so that he could give me something even better. I never once thought that God could make Jonathan a Christian. I didn’t believe Him capable of doing that! Now when I look at Jonathan- my husband, best friend, father of my two children (soon to be 3!), I see a beautiful work in Christ. I have a beautiful testimony of what walking by faith can lead to.

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