This is a post I made on Facebook a couple of months ago, so some of you have already seen it, but I think it is a valuable lesson and reminder to us all of how lucky we are.
We received an informational packet in the mail with pictures of a particular suffering family. Colette stared at the pictures with such a sober look. “Where are their clothes?” she asked. I explained that they don’t have much to wear and sometimes they don’t wear anything at all. “Don’t they get cold?” she asked. I tell her yes and she stares at me for a long time, processing. Then she nods her head and looks at the picture more. She flips from one page to another.
We look at a picture of their shack and I explain that their house is much smaller than our house and everyone probably sleeps in the same bed. We count the children who live there. There are 5. “Maybe just two kids sleep in each bed,” she wonders aloud. I tell her that they all sleep in the same room and it is very likely all in the same bed. She goes back to staring.
After awhile of silence, she stands up. I figure her attention span for the topic is exhausted and I am ready for her to move on too. It is hard to see a three year old burdened with the worries of the world. But then I see her raise her arms above her head slowly, then her arms out to the side, and her hips start to sway. “I’m dancing for them, Mommy,” she tells me. “Who, Honey?” I ask. “The kids without any food,” she says. My heart is heavy with pride and sorrow. I watch her little body move in very serious motions so unlike our usual “Dance Party” dancing.
“Do they have toys?” It’s been at least 15 minutes of discussion- longer than most topics last in our house. I figure she is segueing to playing. “No, Honey, no toys,” I say and I tell her how any money they get has to buy food because food is more important than toys. She is busying herself in her toy kitchen now. I begin to clean up lunch dishes in my own kitchen and surveying all of my “stuff” with guilt. Minutes later Colette runs over to me with a big smile on her face. “I made dinner!” she proclaims. I need her sunshine now. “Guess who it’s for?” she asks. It’s almost always for me. This time it was for “the kids, Mommy, without any food.” I hug her and tell her she is a very nice girl.
It is time for Mary to take a nap. Colette always insists on being upstairs when I am so we go up the stairs, carrying the new shoes we bought that morning. It begs the question, “Do they have shoes, Mommy?” It’s getting harder to answer these questions without crying. “They don’t,” I say. Suddenly Mary’s new dressy shoes seem frivolous to add to her collection of sandals and tennis shoes. Three pairs.
I help Colette on the potty and she asks where “the kids” go potty. Usually potty conversations are a hot topic in our household because it’s so taboo. We’re not allowed to talk about potty stuff unless we are on the potty. Today, it is different. She needs to know and I tell her. It’s not pleasant. She takes it in with wide eyes and nods. My lip is quivering and she hugs me when she gets off the potty.
I dop Colette off at her room to play while I nurse Mary and get her to go to sleep. It is hard to turn my thoughts to anything other than those children with their dark faces and large eyes. I think about how for that mother her children may be her only source of joy and yet must bring her so much sorrow when she can not provide for them. I ache for her.
When I come out of Mary’s room, Colette is not in her bedroom. I search the upstairs and then come down to find Colette coloring at the kitchen counter. I am surprised to see her here because she is usually so fearful of being somewhere other than where I am. She has several different pieces of scrap paper out and she has colored on each one. “There is a different color on each one!” she says proudly, “Do you know who these pictures are for?” I know the answer, but I don’t want to lead her so I shake my head no.
“It’s for the kids, Mom, without any food.”
Colette is napping now. We said a prayer for “the kids” and I asked God to keep reminding us of how lucky we are because we so often forget. I don’t know if she is asleep but she’s very quiet. And I am just thinking. I’ve been thinking about how my little girl offered up everything she had today in love to these children. She didn’t think out what effect her actions might have on those kids; she simply did what she could. The beautiful thing is though Colette didn’t have money to give them, what she did is move me and I have that ability to really change lives, beyond a quarter a day.
What I am saying is- when we make an offering in love, regardless of what it is or how unhelpful or lacking it may seem, God turns it into a blessing for others. And I’m hoping that you will think about that today. What offerings of love can you make today to be a blessing in the hearts and lives of others?
It is so true that she gave all from her heart. The widow of the Bible gave from her heart and it was all she had. Jesus told us that we are to have the faith of a child.
Too bad we don't believe our involvement in the church actually does make a difference. A difference larger than we can even imagine.
Through this story, I saw humanity in its truest form and that is contagious. Children can be very selfish with their toys or candy or other distractions, but a child's selfless acts can be so inspiring. Really children are more selfless than selfish where it truly counts.
I must say, though my beliefs are based in science and philosophy, I read your blog for its honesty. I have nothing but respect for you. I have spent a lot of time studying different religions of the world. In my studies, I have discovered that the majority of self proclaimed "Christians" may go to church every Sunday and they may stand up for their faith in discussions, but don't actually walk the path they love to preach about to non-believers. That falseness has put a sour taste in my mouth for this particular religion. So, thank you for being true to your faith. I wish there were more of you who live your faith instead of boast about it when convenience calls. Good work.
To anonymous- Thank you for your encouraging words and honesty regarding your thoughts on the struggles of christianity. They are so very true. I have heard it said that the most discouraging thing for non-believers is believers who do not act on their belief. But please do not mistake me for a model Christian, as I have a very long way to go in actualizing my faith. As this blog will expose, I am still so wrapped in sin and struggle with the same temptations as those of the "Greats" of the Bible. Motherhood, as this story depicts, has brought me to many ugly self exposures. I fear that were you to know me in my day to day interactions that I may be one of these Christians that have soured you to the great peace that I am to lovingly encourage you to. I don't live my life with an ever conscious recognition that it is not my life to live for myself but for others. I get caught up in the same distractions that my children struggle with- the gluttony of things and food and happiness. But I try to, out of love for my God. I do not think that my efforts gain me any salvation and sadly, I think this truth is what causes many Christians to stop trying for the worries of this world are distracting. I would lovingly encourage you to continue your journey of science, philosophy and religion by looking to the leader and not the followers for we are all fallible. No one man ever followed any single religion without error. I will disappoint you. We Christians have already disappointed you. I am sorry. But, and this I can promise you, my Savior will not disappoint you. Please continue following my blog with your thoughtful comments, as this dialogue is exactly what it needs. For that, I thank you.
I enjoy your deep open love for Jesus. Your blogg is so purely written, almost like a child's view without the evil of our world getting in your way. It's enjoyable and your thoughts so well defined. I find myself looking for your next posting. Good job, and good example of a true Christain! HOTS member…
The fact that you say "I would disappoint" is exactly why I think you are a good example. You are not hypocritical. The truth is that you are human and you recognize that. You still strive to be better and it seems this blog has helped you to reflect on those occasions when you weren't such a model of piety. I appreciate the vulnerability here.
I studied religion, at first, to see which one I was most suited to, but I came to be more at peace with myself and others when I settled on free-thinking/atheism ("Atheist" paints a bad picture in peoples mind so, "free-thinker" has become the new label, I guess). Now, I look at religion with complete fascination and without bias. I want to know what it is about the mind and history of humanity that led to so many different kinds and all of those believing that THEIR god/gods is the right one, the only one. Morality was in existence long before Christ came along. Long before Buddha and Hindu deities and Pagan gods. How would society behave if there were no belief in anything? Has religion caused society to be so horrible to one another? Look at how many wars were fought "in the name of god". What if people of religion looked at other faiths not as wrong, but as a different version of their own?
Anywho, I value your blog for the insight, vulnerability, and overall, the journey. It is quite interesting to see a peaceful point of view on the struggle of life/religion/family as opposed to the usual bickering/whining that happens in a blog.