This post is in response to yesterday’s comment on the blog post “He Didn’t Do It For Nothing.”
When I left high school and went off to college I had not been attending church for awhile. I still claimed the Christian faith and did not see church as a bad thing, but whether confessed or not, I saw it as an unnecessary thing. I was not reading the Bible either. I was doing exactly what most of my peers were doing. I was trying to find success, trying to find happiness, and trying to do good for myself.
During this time, I started struggling with my faith, without even realizing it was a struggle. I thought I understood my God. He was loving. I was always able to accept that. So then I started reasoning- If God is a loving God, how could He condemn anyone to Hell? Well, certainly He must not was my resolution. And if there was no Hell, no need for a Devil then either. I was on a slippery slope to determining that there must not be a problem of sin, but never seemed to go there. Maybe it’s because that always seemed to be prevalent and obvious in my own life- my selfish greeds and lusts and laziness. Yet, I hung on to the belief in the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I don’t know what I thought He was saving me from at that point because there was no Hell in my mind. I suppose I thought He was saving me from myself, showing me a better way to live life by serving others. But I wasn’t even doing that. I was just looking to serve myself- be comfortable with myself, my beliefs, my happiness.
Slowly, my reason became my God. Whatever I could not reason with my finite mind, was tossed out as irrelevant or unnecessary to be understood. No Hell, no devil, no false gods, no wrong beliefs. I started developing a theology based solely on my reason. When I did read the Bible on rare occasions, I came across other “issues” that didn’t meld well with my reason. Noah’s Ark seemed laughable to me. All of those animals were not fitting on one boat. Clearly this did not happen. And then there was the problem of the story of Creation versus Evolution. Creation could not have taken place in 6 days when science tells us it was millions of years of evolution. And so the Bible became this odd source of wisdom for me where I would pick and choose what made sense and what didn’t. If something made sense, I accepted it as truth. If it didn’t make sense, then clearly it was untrue.
The Bible told me God was a loving God. I believed that. The Bible said Jesus healed the sick, the lame, the blind, and raised Lazarus from the dead. I believed that too. And as I said, I continued to believe in Jesus as a savior of some sort. At one point, I started reasoning that maybe death was not the end of life here on Earth. I wanted to hold on to this belief that Jesus was going to get me into Heaven, but in doing so, I knew that it caused some problems of exclusion for all of those people who didn’t believe. I had to reason a way for them to get into Heaven so I decided that when we died, if we hadn’t found our way to Jesus yet, we would be reincarnated and given another opportunity. This fit well for my belief that there was no Hell and no God willing to condemn anyone. So I guess, though my thought process never specifically lead me there, I would have to believe that Adolf Hitler was wandering around in someone else’s body looking for Jesus.
My theology started to fall apart on me when I had trouble reasoning something. I would look to the Bible for wisdom, but I had rejected half of the philosophies it held. I realized this made it an unreliable source. My theology had been built on the idea of a loving God. This “fact” that I wanted to accept was in the Bible. My foundation was crumbling. Was God a loving god and did He even exist? I didn’t feel like I could go to the Bible anymore for answers, so I went to God. I prayed for God to reveal Himself to me. I prayed that He would help me with my belief in Him and my unbelief in Him.
For the first time ever, I read the Bible straight through. It was amazing. I think the turning point for me was when I read the story of Noah’s ark. What I had skimmed over every other time I had read it was the measurements that God instructs Noah with for building. Every other time this had seemed unnecessary and boring, but now I realized those measurements were there for me and my doubting mind. Studies have been done to prove that it was very possible for all of the animals to fit on the boat. What this spoke to me was that I had been ignoring the signs that God was giving me to come to a solid belief in Him. I wasn’t going to God for explanation on my doubts; I was depending on my own intelligence which has been proven to falter.
Have you read the Bible cover to cover? If not, take that journey.
So often we want to reason our way to faith in God, but that is not faith at all. Faith is trust in the unknown. What I encourage those lacking in faith to do, is to stop reasoning and step out in faith with a prayer to a God- a God that you are not even certain is there and ask Him to reveal Himself. Be honest in your unbelief. Then ask Him to help you with it.
You asked, “Can you believe in your God without having to believe anything else is ‘false?’ Is that possible?” My answer is no. Because the God that I have come to know through my faith says that there is one way to Him. I accept the whole Bible as truth. I can’t cover every reason why in this one blog entry, but there are many reasons. This blog is the story of my faith.
Your example about the book and the many interpretations that can be derived from the same material being read, leaves something out. I think that those interpretations can be wrong. Let’s not forget that there was an author with an intent in mind when the book was written. As an author, if someone drew a conclusion from one of my writings that I did not intend, it does not make that person’s interpretation true. I understand that good and captivating creative writings leave open opportunities for the reader’s interpretation. I do not believe the Bible was written with that intent. I believe that it was God-breathed, His very word, handed down to man. I believe that He knows that in it the words of life are contained. I believe that He gave it to us to lead us to Him.
So what of those that don’t believe? Yes, I do believe that they need Jesus to be saved. It makes my heart ache. You asked, “Once we’ve identified who is wrong, what do we do with them? My guess is, we start by telling them they are wrong.” It is not a popular belief, but yes, it is mine. But we tell them in a loving manner and out of love. It is offensive to hear we are wrong, but don’t we need to hear it when we are? In the world of law, we have a duty to protect each other from harm. This is why we have lawsuits of negligence because someone did not properly inform another of possible harm. Are you willing to accept any religion as “true” for that person- even ones that are cultish and regarded as crazy by the general public? If you have to draw the line somewhere, where is that line? Are you willing to accept that a belief that there is no God will lead that person to the same place of a person that believes in a God? If you believe that there is a God at all, no matter how undefinable, wouldn’t it be right to help the atheist at least come to belief in that God? If there is a God, what should He do with those that don’t believe in Him? Force them to believe? Give them no opportunity for doubt by revealing Himself?
If there is a God, what would you expect of Him? Some guidance on who He is? Would you expect love from Him? Or is your creation the only thing you gained from Him? If He exists, what would you have Him do with the people in this world that turn their back on Him? What would you have Him do with those that are evil? What would you have Him do with the ones that just don’t care about anything but themselves or the ones that aren’t trying to be a better person but just trying to enjoy life?
This is what I believe- I believe that God created us out of love and He desired us to love Him. In order for it to be real love, a decision of our own, He had to give us the option to not love Him. I believe He is deeply saddened when we don’t love Him because He knows the gifts He has to offer us if we would love Him. I believe that He demonstrated this opportunity of choice to love by placing the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden. I believe that Adam and Eve chose not to follow God by eating from this tree. I believe that God still loved them and all of those who fall away from Him. I believe that I fall away from Him everyday. I believe that I make decisions that He does not desire for me and that lead to sin and separation from Him. I believe that I am separated from my God because He is a holy and just God and He can not look at my sin without addressing it. I believe that the wages of sin is death which is an eternal separation from God. Yet, I believe that He desires to have me return to a relationship with Him like He had with Adam and Eve in the garden where He walked with them. I believe He wants me to discover His great love for me and to help others discover it too because it is a sad thing to miss out on it. I believe that the answer to my sin was in the gift of Jesus Christ who died on the cross as payment for my sin and yours and that if we do not accept His payment for our sins, then we have to pay for it ourself.
Why else would I write this blog? If I believe that there are other ways to Heaven, who am I writing for? Why would I care for the Jew, for my brother, for the Christian falling away from faith, for the atheist, for the undecided, for the Muslim? I write because I care, because I love, because I have this awesome peace in my heart that I want you to have too. I write because I can not deny what my faith has called me to do, to lead the lost to their Savior.
Amen.
I believe an author, an artist can have an intention. A very specific intention. I believe they can also look every reader, everyone who might gaze upon their art right in the eye and say, "This is my story about a woman walking to work. Nothing else. Do not read anything into it." Or, "This is my picture of a flower it is nothing else, just a picture of a flower. You are wrong if you see anything besides a flower." And I believe people will still read; and find something about the struggle of mankind. And still look at the picture of the flower and see statements about life and death and the fragility of existence. And I believe they would not be wrong. And I'd have to look at the author and the artist, who are now extremely upset and I'd shrug and say, "That's life. Don't be angry."
I believe if I flip a coin and it comes up heads or tails that THAT is God. I also believe it is physics and air temperature and molecules and speed and force and energy and mass all working together in such a completely complex way that we will never be able to understand. To predict. I believe we've all got to care about each other. I believe God helps us to do that. I believe the connection between you and me is God. I believe that death is like not being born yet. I believe that there are things we will never find the answers to. I believe we should never stop trying to find those answers. I believe Galileo was persecuted for saying what he saw with his eyes. I believe the men who did that to him had a strong, strong faith. I believe it was hard for them to see what he could plainly see. I believe those men were not evil. I believe this world, Earth, looks like a single organism from far, far away in space. Just like the cells in our bodies are are individual and working together to make a single being. I believe I'm a sinner. I believe I've got a long ways to go. I believe that the Bible isn't wrong. I believe that homosexuals are not inventing their feelings. I believe humans are unique, extraordinary beings, but so are arthropods and amoeba and sperm. I believe this earth existed for millions and millions of years without humans. I believe life is like a tree. All of us, everything, EVERTHING makes up that tree. I believe trying to surmise the “creator” of the tree is fool-hardy. The tree is us. We are the tree. The tree is god. I believe humans will continue to surmise what created that tree and that is what makes them beautiful. I believe that Christians need to pray and give thanks to Judas. You needed him to do what he did. I believe Jesus would greet Judas and comfort him and say, “Thank you. Thank you for doing that.” And Pontius Pilate. And all those angry Jews. Where would Christianity be without them? I believe I find peace in things dying and decaying and giving sustenance to life. In trees needing other dead trees. In vultures eating dead animals to give them life and clean our world. In my decaying tissue floating in the ocean, going into the earth, turning into rocks, giving out gas that drifts into the atmosphere to be used for something.
I don't believe humans are so special that we are "above" dogs and cats and ants and rats. I don't believe we can live beyond the laws of nature that relegate beings on this earth. I don't believe in Hell. I don't believe in God as a man. As a thing that looks like man. I don't believe in God as a thing. I believe in God as the most complex concept that "passes all human understanding". I don’t believe in “Him”. I don’t believe in the Devil as a evil little man. As a thing. I do believe that if God and Satan did exist as “men”- as these beings – they better get together and thank one another for existing. I don’t expect anything of god. I don’t believe in heaven as a place. I don’t believe any man on earth could understand what heaven could be if one did exist. I don’t believe what Hitler did was “good”. I believe there is evil. I believe evil happens. I believe evil happens collectively. I believe good does too. I believe individuals can make bad or wrong choices. I believe that when we want to see and individual doing “evil” we avoid looking at the collective of how the evil was created. I don’t believe when baby is born that is a miracle and when someone dies unexpectedly it is “The Lord working in mysterious ways.” I believe if a baby being born is a miracle, someone dying is too. I don’t believe dinosaurs were ever on earth at the same time men were. I don’t believe in Satan, so I don’t believe he put down fossils to trick us. I still believe in the unbelievably fantastic. I believe everything I’ve written is flawed, could be bull, could be wrong. I don’t believe in Absolute Truth. I believe some people, like Hitler, thought they had absolute truth. I believe the Book of Thomas should be in every Bible. I believe the teachings of Jesus were steering us away from Absolute Truths. I believe most Bibles today are interpretations of interpretations of interpretations of interpretations of interpretations of interpretations of interpretations of a translation of a translation of an oral history of an oral history.
I believe (and I worry) that I am so much of a dolt that if God did exist and did come up to me and poke me in the chest and hand me the King James Bible and say, “This is true. All of it,” that I’d question him. Especially if it wasn’t a burning bush talking to me. I believe Moses got a big free pass on that one. He got a burning bush that talked to him. I’m worried that when I say to the God I never really believed in, “I didn’t see you.” He’ll (She’ll? It’ll?) say, “I was all around you. The trees, the wind, the sand, the hair on your head.” Like saying to a fish, “The miracle was water.” And the fish says, “What’s water?” The miracle IS water. Water is a miracle! No one realizes water is a miracle.
If I have read much of the Bible, but never read the Koran, should I read the Bible again? Or find out about this Koran so I can turn my back on it?
I believe everything you write. I don’t believe you are wrong. I think I may not write here again. I know you didn’t write this to find out what an anonymous person believes. I want you to have affirmation.
May peace continue to be with you.
I believe your faith gives you a peace that is extraordinary. That you should never give up. Should never have to give up. I also believe the Bible was written by men. And it was. Some believe it was written by Men who were touched by the spirit of God. That God took over their bodies and they wrote those chapters. I'll not argue with that. But it seems apparent that where-ever and when ever those words were penned, that a human held the writing utensil. And for some reason those words are so pertinent to that time. That very time in human history. And I just wonder, (I know, I shouldn't wonder. That means I'm turning my back on God. But I'm not. I'm trying to get there. I've been trying to get there. I have prayed in the dark as an unbeliever. I have read the Bible. Not cover to cover. But I have read. And re-read. I will still read.) I wonder why a book written by a creator, The Creator, would be so indicative of one certain period in time. Why the strong, strong male viewpoint? Just supposing the Bible was written today (again, my fault, as a sinner for even thinking about this…) I assume that the word of God would come off a bit more sympathetic to the female point of view, that it wouldn't find slavery acceptable as just a part of life. In short, I don't think it would be the same Bible as we have today. I think, (This thinking is my “reason”. It is what I have. A tool in my belt. And so…God gave it to me and now I'm using it. And apparently I shouldn't be.) I think this is evidence of man scribing these words. I don't find it to be the viewpoint of a being with an all-seeing eye, who knew me before I was in the womb. I am sorry for that offense, but it happens to me. These thoughts come in, should I shut them out? When the Bible was penned we didn’t know about a round earth, dinosaurs, human rights so they aren’t addressed. I’m not attacking it as right or wrong. These things just seem evident. God didn't speak through women to create the Bible because men's laws forbade such things. If God did speak through a woman, she'd have been killed.
And I wonder what version of the Bible I should be reading. If the Bible is the exact words of God, why does the King James Version exist? Why is there discrepancy in the word of God? Which Bible? For me…this helps me lose my way. I've thought about it. I'll continue to think about it. Why shouldn't I think these thoughts? Why does this mean I'm turning my back? I'm not.
Hello? God? I'm writing these words right now and this is where I am. I'm sorry God. I have been unable to accept Bibles here on Earth as your word. As YOU the author. I can't help thinking they were written by men. I seems so screamingly obvious to me. So…I'm willing. That's a starting point. But I have to admit that, God. I don't find the King James Version of the Bible to be your words. And I am sorry for that. I am sorry. I could also be wrong. I'm not boastful. I'm not brash. I would bow my head. But we've got to get there. I am not there. I'm just not. I am open (less than I'll admit, I'm sure…) but I can't force it.
I don't believe that Native Americans who were living on the land now known as the United States of America were privy to the knowledge of God. Not until people brought it to them. There were cultures living on this land for many, many years before that first contact. I don't believe they "turned their back". I can't. I just can't. They didn't know about this God. And it is obvious (Through reason, which – I know – is flawed.) through archeological records that this God didn’t expose “himself” to them.
This thing about the Sabbath still lingers. Saturday. If there is no room for interpretation by this author – Is Sunday church attendance in lieu of Saturday a sin? I suppose there is lee-way with “remember”, but…