Children seem fascinated when other children are being disciplined. They watch with mixed horror and glee. It seems the innocent bystanders always take the moral high-ground and tsk-tsk the offender. Colette tends to use a very adult voice as she recaps the incident. She piously shakes her head from side to side and announces, “So-and-So sure was having a rough time today. She didn’t want to listen to her mommy.” Funny how clear right and wrong seems when you are not guilty of wrongdoing.
It might seem odd to say this, but I was relieved when Mary reached an age of intentional disobedience that required discipline. For awhile Colette must have considered herself to be the naughty girl of the family and Mary was the golden child who could do no wrong. I sympathized with her that Mommy frequently had scowls for her and smiles for my cooing innocent baby. And now we have a similar dynamic between Mary, the two year old who is just beginning to explore the potentials of naughtiness, and Julia, the baby who is often Mommy’s happy place. It’s tough feeling like you are the only one who has a hard time doing the right thing.
I suppose we never grow out of the fascination for other’s failures. It fuels the media, fosters gossip, and leads us to that sense of security that we are not so bad. To spotlight someone else’s faults is never a good thing. To preen our own self-esteem at the scrutiny of someone’s failure, something of which I have often found myself guilty, is shameful as well. But to quietly learn from the shortcomings of others can be valuable. While Colette would like to think she has never behaved poorly for her mother, I find opportunity with her peers’ behaviors to discuss how to manage the same situation when she finds herself there. And I remind her of times where she has made similar poor choices. I use these moments to humble her and encourage her. I would do well to parent myself the same way.
It is no mistake that the Biblical “greats” have pasts ladened with shady business. Abraham, the father of the Jewish nation, attempted to get a head start on God’s promise that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars and slept with his wife’s servant since his own wife appeared to be barren. Not exactly a faithful move. Twice while traveling in foreign lands, he lied and said his wife was his sister and gave her to other men, in fear of his life. Then there was Moses who saved the Israelites by leading them out of Egypt, but was guilty of murder before he took that walk of faith. David, described as “a man after God’s heart,” had quite the heinous history of adultery and murder. Peter, the often over-zealous disciple, denied knowing Christ when He was being tried and persecuted.
What kind of examples do these “greats” set for us?!
Realistic ones. The truth is we all have some shameful baggage, but there is no burden too heavy for Christ to carry for us. All was suffered on that cross. To say that only those innocent of the “big” sins, are worthy of being saved, diminishes the profound work Jesus did in offering himself as a pure sacrifice for the sins of all. It is precisely why the Bible is rich with examples of people stumbling their way to faith. If the Bible truly professed that being a good person was the key to Heaven as so many a confused Christian claims the founding principle of Christianity to be, then Abraham, Moses, David, Jonah, Peter, Paul and a host of others would be out of luck. But they are not, and neither are you.
The media laps up the sins of famous Christians as if it were sweet honey. They shake their fingers at the fallen and proudly proclaim that their Christianity has made them no better than the rest of the world. Too often we unite on the common ground of sin. Truth is, sin is a common ground for all of us, Christian or not. It is good to know you are not alone in the struggle of sin, but better to know we can unite in the grace of a Savior who lovingly died for those sins so that He could spend eternity with you. Paul, after persecuting Christians with fervor, was able to joyously declare that salvation was his, because he knew the truth he professed in Romans 3:22-24, “This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Wow!! You say it so well. Have been there with my kids (grown-up now) and with my grandkids. And myself, too. Thank you!