Note to self: “The Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:12. I might need this one stamped on my forehead as a friendly reminder every time I look in the mirror. The experts say that children actually want boundaries, despite their nature to constantly cross the border. Yesterday Jon was consoling Mary after she was disciplined for not assisting with clean-up. He explained to her that our bad decisions can result in consequences. Looking for Colette’s support as an expert in the area of making bad decisions, Jon asked, “Colette, tell Mary- are consequences good or bad?”
Colette quickly responded, “Good because they help us learn to act better.” It was not the answer he was seeking, but it certainly made us smile. I found it comforting that Colette appreciated the need of the boundaries we have been reinforcing so regularly. She can be very strong-willed and there are days that end in exhaustion and frustration because I feel like I have been on her case all day. I try to end the day with a reassuring hug and assert that we will have a better day tomorrow. And we usually do.
Parenting is like making an investment in your child. Often I can feel the battle brewing- the sigh when asked to pick up her toys or the nose crinkling at the sight of an unwelcome dinner entree. It is in that moment where I have to make a decision of what my approach will be. I could choose to conserve my energy and time and let her do as she would please. Honestly, there are times where I feel too weary and just want to avoid altercation, but to consider the longterm ramifications discourages me.
When you decide to make a financial investment for your future, the initial steps of setting aside money can be very difficult. There are sacrifices that need to be made and habits that need to be changed. If you focus on the goal of a financially stable future, all of the struggle is necessary and good, though it may not be enjoyable. Likewise, the sacrifices that we are called to in parenting, though not all enjoyable, are necessary and good. If I invest time and thought in my child now, the future will reveal an individual who is well-adjusted to a world of boundaries and expectations. Caring enough now, means caring for their future. Somehow children recognize that and are drawn to structure and discipline.
I say “somehow,” but I believe it was God’s good design. Because the Lord loves us, we should expect His discipline when we fall out of line. And we should be grateful for it. It is good to consider God’s discipline in our lives, and what He is revealing to us through it. Have you been put in a “time-out” with a life that seems stalled, because you have not done what the Father has asked of you? Perhaps you are still nursing a “spanking” for doing something dangerous. Or have you lost privileges to a toy because you did not play responsibly or refused to share? Maybe the analogy makes you giggle a little, but truly Our God is a loving God with expectations for His children’s behavior and He is a master of behavior modification.
God knows that His discipline can cause you to scowl and question His goodness and mercy, but just as it is love that causes me to correct my children’s poor behavior, so it is His love that He offers in the discipline of His children. Colette and Mary may not always be able to comprehend that it is love that drives me to enforce rules and expectations. There are regular events in our household that attest to their unwillingness to admit that I know what is better for their future than they do. What about you? Can you see the love of your Father in His discipline? Do you submit to it because you trust that He knows what is best for your eternal future or are you resistant? Consider your next consequence as an opportunity to learn from a good and gracious God, one who is investing in your future.
Thank you!