The Messy Mommy Ministry- A Call to Action (Or Inaction?)

The plan was to have a good friend come over for dinner on Easter Sunday.  I told her 5 o’clock because we would be getting home from church at around noon and I wanted plenty of time to get my house clean before she arrived.  I think I’ve let on a few times that I am not the tidiest housekeeper.  This is in no part due to laziness, but more so due to an inherited inability to throw out anything or organize that which I am unwilling to throw out.  (Not to mention the triple combo efforts of three professional mess-makers).

Thus began a distracted effort to prepare sweet potatoes, fold laundry, whip up a pie, vacuum, and de-clutter as soon as I got children down for a nap.  In the flurry of activity my spirit was high as I sang some of the songs from service that morning.  Before it was even halfway over, I had decided that this was the best Easter ever.  Good Friday service was very effective and it was the first time since having children that I was able to give my undivided attention to the service (Special thanks to well-behaved Colette and Mary, and Daddy, who took out not-so-well-behaved Julia).  Then on Saturday the kids made a Resurrection Garden, dyed Easter eggs, and Colette and I made cookies together that had scriptural references for each ingredient.  With all of the additional blogging, I was feeling very connected with God and felt that I had been successful in sharing the Message with my children.

And yet, something started nagging at me while I cleaned.  All of this preparation was in honor of my friend- a friend who knows me well; a friend who knows the messiness of being a mother; a friend who I invited to dine with us because her own children would be spending Easter with their father and she would be alone.  And suddenly what I was doing did not seem so honorable, because I realized that my scheduling design was to avoid her seeing the reality of my everyday living.  We moms do this a lot.  Too much.  Don’t we?  We scramble to tidy up our lives and homes so we can accept compliments on how “put-together” we are with these broad grins and a wave of our hands as we say, “Oh, it doesn’t always look like this,” but we want you to think that we’re just being modest.  And meanwhile, we perpetuate this falsehood among us that you can have the perfect house, perfect husband, perfect kids and perfect life while causing others to feel inadequate.  So we all keep running this rat race that keeps us distracted from serving each other in very deep and real ways that begins with us being REAL with each other.

It suddenly became very detestable to me.  This is not to advocate letting your housework go to the dogs or not having the decency to wipe down the toilet seat for your guests.  But, my desire to put on a false ambience of order at the expense of my friend’s loneliness on the very holiday that expresses God’s great love and humility, gripped me with irony.  So I tossed in the towel, let her know she could come over whenever she was ready, and made no last minute pleadings with my husband and children to run like mad shoving piles out of sight.

She told me she had crawled into bed that afternoon and cried because she was missing her kids so much.  And frankly, it made me want to crawl into a hole.  When I could have been a friend, I had chosen to perpetuate an image instead.  It didn’t honor my friend.  It honored me and my image.  And not only that, but I really think behavior like this is harmful to my ministry as a Christian.  Too often I am running around saving face, missing what is really important.  Yes, I have missed opportunities to be the hands and feet of Christ because I didn’t want someone to see my messy house.

Colette and I had been talking about what we do if Jesus came back to Earth and He was coming to our house today.  Colette just stared in wide-eyed wonder and said (what I have determined to be very wise), “I don’t think I would say anything!”

And I said, “I would start running around cleaning like crazy.”  Because I would.  Even for Jesus who has a daily, omnipotent view of my home.

Colette gave me one of those knowing looks that she makes right before she says something brilliant and began, “There’s this story in the Bible about Martha and Mary…”  She actually trailed off as if to communicate that her point was so obvious there was no need to go further.  I got it.  Jesus came to Martha and Mary’s house, and Martha scurried about cleaning while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, listening.  Martha pleads with Jesus to get her sister to be of some assistance.  Jesus replies, “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Jesus did not tell Martha that cleaning was not virtuous.  He did say that what Mary had chosen was better.  How many times do we burden ourselves with activities that are good, but God is offering us something better?

Clean houses are great.  Being of service to others is better.

What I am proposing is a pledge of transparency and a move towards putting a hold on wiping down the kitchen so we can pick up a tissue and wipe at the tears of someone in need.  I am calling it My Messy Mommy Ministry, because I’m not willing to let distractions keep me from hearing God’s call to action.