“Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” Peter cried to Jesus, as he fell to his knees. This account of Peter’s repentance is found in Luke, Chapter 5 in the telling of the Miraculous Catch of Fish. He asked God to leave his presence. He knew he was not worthy to share the same air, the same boat, so he pleads with Jesus to leave. What great sin had convicted Peter so?
Moments earlier, Jesus had instructed Peter to take his boat out to deeper water and let out his net for a catch of fish. Peter was a fisherman. He knew his trade well, so from his expertise he spoke, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
Peter’s response could be interpreted two ways: He was willing to obey, because he trusted Jesus to know better than he- “But because you say so, I will let down the nets” Or, he was obeying because he respected Jesus, but didn’t have much faith that his efforts would bear fruit. I can’t speak for Peter, but were I in his shoes, this is what underlying meaning would be wrapped up in those sentences:
1. “We’ve worked hard all night”- I’m tired. My work is done here. The nets are clean. Did I mention I just worked hard all night?
2. “haven’t caught anything.”- Been there, done that, big fail, and I don’t plan on wasting my time on it again any time too soon.
3. “But because you say so…”- Fine! *Uttered with big, huffy exertion, and possible out of sight eye roll* But I don’t think this is a good idea…
4. “I will let down the nets.” – See me obeying? That’s what you want, isn’t it? You can’t discipline me, because I’m just doing what I was told.
Peter wasn’t yet a disciple, but Jesus had at least garnered some of his respect. Peter had already experienced Jesus’s miraculous healing of his mother-in-law in chapter 4. Not to mention that, living in the region of Galilee, it would be unlikely he hadn’t heard of the many other miracles Jesus had already performed at this early start of His ministry. At minimum, he respected Jesus as a teacher, because he had allowed Jesus to use his boat as His podium for the speech He had just delivered to the crowd on the shore. But in spite of this, it appears to me that Peter was reluctant to trust Jesus in the area that Peter knew best- fishing. So it would seem a begrudging obedience that he guided the boat out into deeper waters and released his nets. The kind of obedience where one expects to be able to shrug his shoulders and say, “I told you so,” when the end results justify the resistance.
Only, they begin to catch so many fish, their nets begin to break and they have to wave over help. It is then that we see Peter’s repentant response, which makes me inclined to believe that Peter really was annoyed with Jesus’s request and that he had obeyed in action, but not in heart. Peter had admired Jesus’s teaching. He had witnessed miracles that were less easy to explain away as coincidence than a ginormous catch of fish, but it was this miracle that caught his attention. Why?
I would argue it was because this miracle revealed the most to Peter about his personal relationship with God. It was the moment that Peter understood “follow” in the active sense, rather than in the passive. He still had not given God the full obedience that comes from the heart. Peter had not given Him reign over his day to day. Perhaps he didn’t understand until this demonstration the interest that God had in his life personally.
Peter was no doubt tired and deflated from a worthless night of work when Jesus instructed him to cast his net upon the water. He was expecting nothing more from his efforts than to exacerbate those problems, but Christ was on the verge of refreshing his weary soul. All Peter must do was follow.
It is precisely when our soul is tired and deflated that God beckons, “Follow.” When we have worried through the night, toiled to exhaustion, and run the failing race, that He meets us and says, “Cast your net and trust me.” The temptation to make excuses may rise up, but it is when we ignore temptation and look to God’s instruction that we burst our nets with blessing.
Peter said, “Leave me Lord,” but God told him that now, he was truly ready to follow. Now Peter’s heart was prepared for true discipleship. Obedience is the primary lesson in this account. Peter obeyed in action, but it revealed his resistant heart. The trick with obedience is that each time it becomes a little easier to obey. Sometimes we have to experience the results of our disobedience and sometimes we reap the reward of our obedience, but there will also be times when we are called to obedience without any visible results. Even at those times, God is at work if only in molding our heart to be more receptive to His reign.
What I love about this story is how Peter’s entire mission changes in moments. He had spent the night seeking fish, because it was his means of survival. But it was this miracle that made Peter leave the boat, heavy-ladened with the fish that had been so important to him only moments ago, and follow a whole new calling.
1 John 2:3-5 we know that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands. The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys His Word, God’s love is truly made complete in him.